I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
