I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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