And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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