you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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