I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize