So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
