I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
