So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
