you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
