So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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