I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
