Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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