help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
