were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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