I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize