is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
