the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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