I just pynch a tree in the face
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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