And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
