Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
