so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize