What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
