haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
