Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
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Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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