Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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