She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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