My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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