its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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