yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
