hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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