I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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