Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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