I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
