Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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