i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
