Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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