I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize