a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
