She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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