This is not my ceiling
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness