I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
