Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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