my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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