toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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