I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize