do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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