Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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