this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
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I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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