For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a beard to bite.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize