I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
