sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
