Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
