He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize