don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
