you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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