I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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