Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
