fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
