I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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