Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
