Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
