I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
