Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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