I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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