He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
