one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
