Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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