the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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