I have demons in me.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
